Brown Sugar. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo] Brown Sugar. [ userinfo | insanejournal userinfo ] [ archive | journal archive ]

You got your high brow, shoes on your feet & you wear them around like it ain't shit. [Aug. 8th, 2020|12:59 pm] ( And you don't know the way that you look when your steps make that much noise. I got you all figured out, you need everyone's eyes just to feel seen. Behind your make-up, nodbody knows who you even are, who do you think that you are? ) link

.95 WOW! It has been such a long time since I've updated this thing. [Sep. 4th, 2010|09:52 am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Taio Cruz -- Dynamite. ] I-I-I-I came to dance, dance, dance, dance. I hit the floor 'cause that’s my plans, plans, plans, plans. I’m wearing all my favorite brands, brands, brands, brands. Give me space for both my hands, hands, hands, hands. I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, Saying AYO! gotta let go! I wanna celebrate and live my life, Saying AYO! baby, let’s go! 'Cause we gon’ rock this club, We gon’ go all night, We gon’ light it up, Like it’s dynamite! Wow, ij. It has been such a long time since I have "written" in you. There is so much to update on that it isn't even funny! Where to even begin? We'll start off with the harsh split from Benji. Still to this day, I'm not exactly sure what happened or what I did wrong, but it obviously wasn't meant to work out between us. I don't wish any harm to him nor am I harboring ill feelings. What's done is done and I've moved forward. Even though that took a lot out of me was the main cause for the spur of the moment trip that turned into a longer trip than expected. Starr and I were staying out in New York together since her .. excuse me, sperm donor, ditched her the moment he found out they were having twins. Yes, so we got a place together and I was there for the birth of the twins. They're such beautiful and perfect babies, Starr is doing a wonderful job with them as well. My Aunt Rochelle is there to help, so I decided to go visit Whitney in Florida for a little while Starr had her space to be with the kids. Things were going so great, being with my homegirl in the sunshine state, doing what I love to do. All three Harmony's are doing so well, I never thought that everything would turn out so successfully. We were teaching our classes and going out clubbing after work, hell, I was even trying my attempt at dating again. I was renting a little beach house when the oil spill happened, so I couldn't just sit there and do nothing. Whitney and I teamed up together and joined the clean up crew along the gulf coast. I even had the opportunity to meet President Obama while there, which was an honor as well. I parted ways with Whitney once we were finished volunteering and here I am, back in Los Angeles where it feels at home. I've missed my house so much, it isn't funny. I've had a couple of jobs and crews I'm working with for various things but other than that, nothing major .. yet. Meg says there were four diferent directors coming in asking about me choreographing their videos, so as word gets around I'm back, we'll have to see what happens. I am so happy to be back home and at work, I finally feel content with life again. I'm ready to take Los Angeles on head first! Oh yeah, and I don't plan on neglecting this poor journal either. link just|dance

.94 Friends only [Dec. 16th, 2009|02:11 pm] [ mood | depressed ] I'm tired of sitting here, crying and eating ice cream. I need some interaction or .. I don't know, somebody to flirt with. Something! This drought I'm going through sucks! I need some interaction. link just|dance

.93 better be street if you're looking at me. I need a soldier who ain't scared to stand up for me. [Dec. 10th, 2009|02:24 pm] [ mood | pissed off ] Took my ring off and tossed it right in the trash. Fuck it. I'm single again and I'm not gonna admit how hurt I am, just know that I'm never going through this again! Fuck settling down mang! I'm going out for a night on the town, who's coming with? link just|dance

.92 [Nov. 16th, 2009|11:39 am] [ mood | confused ] It's like one step forward and two steps back, no matter what I do you're always mad and I, I can't change your mind. I know it's like trying to turn around on a one way street, I can't give you what you want and it's killing me. And I, I'm starting to see, maybe we're not meant to be. It's never enough to say I love you. No, it's never enough to say I try. It's hard to believe that there's no way out for you and me and it seems to be the story of our lives. Nobody wins when everyone's losing. There's still time to turn this around, you could be building this up instead of tearing it down. But I keep thinking maybe it's too late. I'm tired of feeling like this. I have taken the next two weeks off of work to get my head on straight and figure out where we are going, if we are even still on the same page any more. link just|dance

.91 [Nov. 13th, 2009|11:55 am] [ mood | lonely ] Sighhhhhhhhhhh. link just|dance

.90 [Nov. 3rd, 2009|11:31 am] [ mood | pleased ] So, I've been pretty busy in the last couple of weeks. Went to New York for two days then flew to Florida for another two, made it home in time for our Halloween party! Which went rather well if I do say so myself. Had some fun and made some memories in the process. As far as work goes, I've been tinkering with this certain routine for a couple of weeks now and I am finally beginning to teach it to the class. Everyone seems to like it and they love the song we are dancing to. Let me know what you guys think. IMPORTANT: I do not own this. Thanks. link dance

.89 [Oct. 27th, 2009|12:24 pm] [ mood | depressed ] I don't know what we are doing any more. link just|dance

.88 [Oct. 13th, 2009|12:34 pm] Wow, I actually have some down time to sit here and type up a update. Can you believe it?! Seriously. Any ways, not too much has been happening actually. I have been working so much and so has Benji, he's been helping put out all of these wild fires and scaring me half to death in the process. It is his job and I really just have to get over it really. I love him and being a fire fighter is something he loves to do, what right do I have to jump in and tell him not to do what his passion is just because I don't like it? Really. We spend our time together when we have it and I love every second of it. He's pretty much moved in with me, he comes here when he isn't working and I even gave up some closet and dresser space for him. We thought we were pregnant back in August but it was a false reading, which was a good thing. Good because we really don't have the time to raise a child, with my business and his line of work. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to have little Benji children but the timing just isn't right. We still have to plan for our wedding and really haven't had the down time to sit and plan for .. well, anything. We need to just set a date, go have some lunch and make some plans. I have an idea of how I want things but I need my other half to voice his wants too. Harmony is still going strong, we've expanded and added a new dance room as well as made our front lobby way bigger. I'm pretty excited actually. Starr let's me know how things are being ran in New York, she threw something else at me that was rather unexpected. She sent me a letter and a copy of her sonogram. That's right, sonogram, as in she's two and a half months along in her pregnancy with not one but two baby girls and I'm sitting back thinking 'really?' The one person who didn't want children to begin with is having some of her own and seems pretty damn pleased with everything. I'm happy for her, ecstatic actually. Whitney? Well, she's still in Florida helping me with Harmony there and things have been going good for her as well. She's landed herself in a serious relationship with a decent gentleman. She is maturing finally and I couldn't be more happier for her. As for me? I think a nice warm bath will do me justice before I see if my future husband wants me to bring him some lunch. Adios! link dance

.87 [Sep. 24th, 2009|01:41 pm] [ mood | content ] I met up with some of the girls from Harmony for some lunch and wedding planning. Needless to say, we didn't get anything done but Natalie wanted to take pictures so yeah. xD We took pictures. These two are a mess, lemme tell yous! Well, it has been two quick months but we're still engaged and thank God for that. I was getting worried there that I was pushing him away but we've gotten over that little bump and are doing fine. He's been so busy at work lately but we make time for ourselves when we have it. I usually try to have dinner for him so when he comes home, he can heat it up and eat if he's hungry. Me? It's the same ole', same ole'. I'm putting in thirteen hour shifts at Harmony, ever since school started back we have had a lot of after schoolers coming in this year then we have since Harmony has opened. It's exciting but busy, I'm going to be looking for an extra set of hips soon, mine are about beat. I spoke to Starr yesterday and she had some exciting news for me. She's expecting and I'm going to have a little cousin soon to spoil rotten. Whitney is still in Florida driving people crazy let me tell you! She's been running Harmony pretty smoothly which was terrifying at first. Leave my store in her hands? Really? There was no way I would have done that two years ago but she's growing up slowly but surely. All in all, life is good right now. I have a loving fiance' to come home to, a successful career that I enjoy and my own home so I'm not complaining. link dance

.86 [Sep. 10th, 2009|11:48 am] [Mariah (Speaks):] "I was like, why you so obsessed with me?" So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. So, Oh, Oh-O- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. Will the real MC please step to the mic? MC- You need an MC, place to be. MC the MC. All up in the blogs, sayin' we met at the bar, When I don't even, know who you are. Sayin' we up in your house, sayin' I'm up in your car, But you in LA, and I'm out at Jermaine's. I'm up in the A, you're so so lame, And no one here, even mentions your name. It must be the weed, it must be the E, Cause you be poppin' hood, you get it poppin'. Ahhh Ohhhh. Why you so obsessed with me? Boy I want to know, lyin' that you're sexing me. When everybody knows, it's clear that you're upset with me. Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress, Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this. You're delusional, you're delusional, Boy you're losing your mind. It's confusing yo, you're confused you know, Why you wasting your time? Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex, Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex. Ooh Ohh Ohh. Boy why you so obsessed with me? So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. And all the ladies sing, So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. All the girls sing. (Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.) You on your job, you hatin' hard, Ain't goin' feed you, I'mma let you starve. Graspin' for air, and I'm ventilation, You out of breath, hope you ain't waitin'. Tellin' the world how much you miss me, But we never were, so why you trippin'? You a mom and pop, I'm a corporation, I'm the, press conference, you're a conversation. Ahhh Ohhhh. Why you so obsessed with me? And boy I want to know, lyin' that you're sexing me. When everybody knows, it's clear that you're upset with me. Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress, Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this. You're delusional, you're delusional, Boy you're losing your mind. (Mind) It's confusing yo, you're confused you know, Why you wasting your time? (Mind) Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex, Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex. Ooh Ohh Ohh. Boy why you so obsessed with me? So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. And all the ladies sing, So, Oh, Oh-Oh- Oh. So, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh. All the girls sing. (Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.) Ahhh Ohhhh. Why you so obsessed with me? (He's all up in George Foreman). And boy I want to know, lyin' that you're sexing me. (Lying that you're sexing me.) When everybody knows, it's clear that you're upset with me. (Ay) Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress, (Ohh) Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this. (Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this.) (Fade out) You're delusional, you're delusional, (He's all up in my George Foreman). Boy you're losing your mind. (Mind) It's confusing yo, you're confused you know, Why you wasting your time? (Mind) Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex, Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex. link dance

.85 Benji Only: [Sep. 10th, 2009|11:45 am] [ mood | loved ] Hey baby, I was thinking .. we need to have a romantic dinner tonight, just you and I and some wine. What do you think? link dance

.84 close friends only: [Aug. 28th, 2009|09:16 pm] [ mood | awake ] It was a false reading. I'm kind of bummed out about all of this but it just isn't the time and when the time is right, it'll happen. No need to rush things, I still love my sexy fire fighter none the less. link just|dance

.83 [Aug. 24th, 2009|10:55 am] [ mood | loved ] The little things, you do to me are taking me over, I wanna show you. Everything inside of me like a nervous heart that is crazy beating. My feet are stuck here, against the pavement. I wanna break free, I wanna make it. Closer to your eyes, get your attention, before you pass me by. It's time to find some common ground. Benji and I have been at it like cats and dogs for what seems like forever and enough is enough. I am madly in love with that man, I love him more than dancing itself. If you told me I couldn't dance any more, I would be crushed but if you took Benjamin away from me, it would end my entire world. Let me just start from the beginning. He came home the other night after a really long week at work, I usually have dinner ready or his plate waiting for him but I had had a long day myself and was waiting to order some take out or something when he came home but that didn't happen. He climbed onto the couch with me, we made love like we never have before and he told me all about the hard week he had at work. I can't do what he does for a living, I couldn't handle it. He is such an amazing and strong person to be able to do what he does and to come home safely at the same time. It makes me feel so shitty when here I have been complaining left and right about his job and starting a fight with him every chance we are around one another. Ugh, it really pisses me off when I think about it. I have been such a shitty fiance and I need to change. For us and our future together. I love him and the last thing I want to do is lose him. I know that Benji loves me and I hope he knows that I love him too, I would do any and everything under the sun for him and I really hope he knows that. Benji only. I'm thinking that maybe I should move Harmony to Hawaii or something. What do you think about it? I want to live some where we can enjoy and isn't so stressful. Also, I'm taking the afternoon off and have a surprise for you when you come home, what do you feel like eating tonight? PRIVATE: No access beyond this. One week late, it could be a false alarm or this could be the real deal. Either way, I'm extremely nervous. link just|dance

.82 Starr, Whitney, King & Rocky only. [Aug. 9th, 2009|09:44 pm] [ mood | worried ] Let him know that you know best. 'Cause after all you do know best. Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence. Lay down a list of what is wrong, The things you've told him all along. And I pray to God he hears you, And I pray to God he hears you. I feel like I'm losing him. We have been fighting so much in the past few weeks and it's really my fault. I love this man and his line of work terrifies me. I know it's what brought us together but I'm absolutely horrified that it's going to be what breaks up apart. I know that should give me more reason to give him that extra kiss and hug instead of nagging and complaining. In the time that we are arguing, we could be planning for a house or maybe even plans for the wedding but nope, I have to be stupid and run my yap. Life is too short and I want to spend mine with him, happily ever after. Advice guys? link just|dance

.81 big news! [Jul. 10th, 2009|01:55 pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] GUESS WHO IS ENGAGED BITCHES?!?! That's right! Desirae McClain Allen is and to this guy. The picture was taken two months back but who cares?! I am so damn excited. I love you Benjamin Cole Davis! With all of my heart. link just|dance

.80 squeee moment! [Jun. 29th, 2009|12:14 pm] [ mood | happy ] He just told me he loved me! And I love him too. I feel all these different emotions right now that I can't even begin to describe how he or what he just told me makes me feel. In a good, heels over head kind of way. No matter what emotion it is, I'm just glad I met Benjamin Cole Davis when I did. And I love him too! link dance

.79 Rest In Peace [Jun. 26th, 2009|01:07 pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] [ music | Michael Jackson -- Billie Jean ] Best song ever. It's tragic but it is also life and so we move on and remember a talented man, even though he had his demons and faced them publicly, he was an icon and could dance like a mother fucker. Yeah. link just|dance

.78 [Jun. 24th, 2009|08:50 am] [ mood | ecstatic ] Hokay, I finally have a chance to sit down and really update this guy right here with some of my work. Everybody that knew I was gone knew that I was opening two more Harmony's on the East Coast. One in New York and one in Miami. While in Florida, I ran into Sean Kingston and I was surprised that he even recognized me but he did and I was thrilled because he had a project for me. His new album drops August 25th and his new single was already a chart topper, so he needed a hot ass music video to go along with his song. So, needless to say while I was in Florida for those six weeks, I shaped up the dancers he tossed my way, made them sweat like they've never sweated before and even got to make a small appearance in his video as well. Everybody that I got to work with were amazing, seriously. It was a steady, fun filled couple of weeks. I'm rather proud of myself actually. BET stayed on all afternoon down at Harmony and once Sean Kingston debuted his video, we popped open a bottle of Cristal ( what?! we were done for the day anyways! ) and I even squee'd when he gave a shout out to me. ME. Little Desirae, a shout out on BET! It was rather amazing if I do say so myself and now I wanted to share some of the fun with you guys. Keep your eyes out for the gal in yellow skinny jeans and a pink hoodie on a scooter in the beginning, that would be moi. =) Gimme feed back please! Also, Benji, I miss you bunches! link just|dance

.77Benjamin Cole =) [Jun. 23rd, 2009|10:42 am] [ mood | happy ] I don't know what it is that you've done to me But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way. Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing It's a feeling that I want to stay. 'Cause my heart starts beating triple time, With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind. I can't figure out just what to do, When the cause and cure is you. I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak, I lose all control Then somethin' takes over me. In a daze, your love's so amazing. It's not a phase I want you to stay with me, by my side, I swallow my pride. Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet. Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak. This guy is amazing. Everything about him is just so wonderful. I missed him too much in the past few months and I'm so glad that he's here in Los Angeles right now. Don't get me wrong, Hawaii was truly beautiful but Cali isn't that bad either. He makes me happy and I love him dearly, he's a great person to have around, seriously. =D link just|dance

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]